I told you about how I was raised by 2 organizations. I told you one was public schools. The other one was religion.

It doesn’t matter what the religion is. I believe they are all fundamentally the same. They all believe in a higher power. Be it God, Allah, Jehovah, supreme being, universal intelligence.

Every religion has crazies. People who blow themselves up. Pray with poisonous snakes. Or set up a compound in Texas. They all have the passive types who don’t know any better and need something to believe in. They all have genuine people who truly believe and try to live a good life. 

They are all just like a bureaucracy. Hierarchies that to a major extent promote dependency and discourage thinking.

I don’t take a stand against religion. I do however stand for using our brains. The one thing that sets humans apart from almost everything else on this earth and elevates us above all. I stand for thinking.

I will not try to take anything away from an individual’s belief or faith. I will encourage them to question what they have been told to believe and come to their own answers.

I don’t know much about other religions. But I know a lot about Christianity. I know that Jesus told us many times to question, think, and come to our own conclusions.

Jesus told us, be ye not conformed to this world but be ye transformed by the renewal of your mind. How do you renew your mind? By thinking. How do you not fall into conformity? By questioning.

Pompous Piolet asked Jesus flat out if he was God. Jesus asked Pilot: Who do you say I am? Jesus wanted Pompous Pilot to think for himself and come to his own beliefs.

Why is it that, 2000 years later, Christians still do not understand that they need to start thinking for themselves?

Why? Because Christianity is just like any other religion. They are all fundamentally based on dependency. Christianity is based on being dependent on Jesus as the only way to access God.

There are many things in Christianity, as I’m sure with other religions too, that just don’t add up. When I would question these things, I was always answered 1 or 2 ways. 1: An answer that just beat around the bush and never answered anything. 2: I was told, “that’s just how it is.” Which never answered anything.

I stopped asking for other people’s views and started thinking for myself.

One question I asked myself is, what truly is the one unforgettable sin? According to the Bible, the one unforgivable sin is blasphemy of the holy spirit. You guys should know me well enough to know I’m going to look at this from other angles.

A lot of people think that if a person commits suicide their soul automatically goes to hell. How exactly does this fit into blasphemy of the holy spirit? It can be stretched to get close but will never fit.

What if I blaspheme the holy spirit before I even know what the holy spirit is?

I thought Jesus could wash away all sins. So how does an unforgivable sin even exist?

To me, the answer is simple. To me, there is only one sin and it truly will keep us from knowing God.

Blasphemy of the holy spirit, believing that God is not living in us. Blaspheme: To speak or think irreverently of God. How could you have any less reverence for God than to not believe he is a part of you.

I had amazing “spiritual” experiences during my days as a Christian. I’ve had these same experiences on a much more profound level, with absolutely nothing to do with Christianity’s dependency on Jesus.

Christians, along with every other religion, even different faiths within the same religion all think their way is the only way.

So how can it be that I experienced things much more profound, not listening to any of them?

By believing that God (however you consider him/it) is a physical part of me. I view God as a universal intelligent energy that is in everything. From the tiniest particles that make a grain of sand. To the energy that allows us to be visible from millions of miles away.

I believe this energy is what fuels my thoughts. Makes my cells multiply. My heartbeat. My views filter.

Short of killing myself, I can’t stop any of these things. The only one of these I can even come close to having any control over is my thoughts.

The energy that causes these things to function has always existed in us. God, the holy spirit (same thing) has always existed in me.

Pentecostals (I was one) and Baptists (also one) both believe that when a person gets “saved,” the holy spirit at that point enters the person’s being. Not before.

I’ll get back to this in a minute. Here are some fun facts.

Pentecostals believe the holy spirit is the source of power to do miracles. A person must pray and ask for these powers such as speaking in tongues, healing, etc.

Most Baptists believe the holy spirit to be mostly symbolic. They pick and choose which spiritual gifts are of the holy spirit. Healing is fine, that’s from God, speaking in tongues, oh hell no! That’s Satan himself. I’m a bit bias about Baptists. Sorry, not sorry.

I’ll keep this short because it really doesn’t have anything to do with changing our thinking. I want to show you a bit about who my main influences were growing up in the Baptist religion. My examples of godly men.

It’s crazy I’m not an atheist. I had a pastor who, without fail, would talk shit about and belittle his wife from the pulpit every week. A principal of the Christian school who called me a fag when I got my ears pierced. Then told me I was going to hell for wearing baggy pants.

A youth pastor who wrestled me to the ground then put his knee in the back of my head on the asphalt. All because I refused to give him my radio and play some stupid games. He was at least 30 I was 8. I might have been 70 lbs. He was at least 250 lbs.

Men of God, my ass!

I don’t have that same view for all Christians. And really not even all Baptists. I know 1 or 2 decent Baptists.

The youth pastor at the Pentecostal church I went to was pretty awesome for a Christian, and person in general. The head pastor French kissed his wife from the pulpit on Valentine’s Day. In my eyes, that’s pretty cool.

I wanted to go on a rant for a second. Not sorry.

I was saying that Christians believe God/holy spirit (something) doesn’t become a part of us until we get “saved.” For me, this flat out isn’t true. It is true however that this power called God/universal intelligence may become stronger at the point of salvation. This is because we have acknowledged it as a part of our being. Deciding to allow that power to be free within us.

God, as I see it, has always been a part of us. God has always been the cause of our heart beating. The energy that makes our thoughts. He is part of our DNA before we are born. Part of our DNA before our parents were born. There is no beginning or end to the energy that is God. It makes no sense to me that there would be a magical beginning to when he enters our being.

Many people can’t fathom themselves as being divine. I believe this is the main reason Jesus came to Earth. Not to forgive us for hating, or smoking, or cussing, or even getting a tattoo or pierced ears. But to allow us the opportunity to see ourselves as being connected to God.

To give us an out for the only sin. Blaspheme of the holy spirit. Not acknowledging that God is apart of us. This is the only thing that can keep us from God. Not believing that he is truly a part of us.

If you need to, go back and re-read the beginning story in this section and the statements about my sister’s capacity to forgive and love unconditionally.

If my sister is able to forgive my words and actions. If my sister is able to forgive me for believing she wasn’t there for me. Then allow me to build a relationship with her. How much more is God willing and able to do the same.

If I hadn’t acknowledged that my sister has always been here for me, I wouldn’t have the relationship with her that I do.

If I hadn’t acknowledged that God has always been a part of me, I wouldn’t be as connected to him as I now am.

When we acknowledge that God is and always has been a part of us, the organization of religion is no longer necessary, and more. To continue to follow one belief and disregard all or any other beliefs only hinders your ability to connect with God fully. God created all. To separate yourself in some way from another group is to sperate yourself from a part of God.

I want to tell you a quick story about unwavering determination and unconditional love. Pay attention to the statements I make at the end of this story. They may be needed to fully understand my views and a concept I’ll bring in this section. 

Roughly 10 years ago I was woken up by a horrendous ratchet around 7:30 am on a Friday.

It’s way too early. What the hell is going on? I’m furious. There’s pounding on the front door. Pounding on my bedroom window. My phone will not stop ringing. I hear a familiar voice pleading for me to come to the door and talk to her. No way in hell she’s the one blowing up my phone too. I check it. Yep. Without a doubt. It’s my sister. What does she want? We don’t talk. I guess I should go see. It might be important.

I open the door, “what?” She starts talking about this seminar called P.S.I. She tells me how she thinks it might help me change and reach my potential. We don’t see each other except for Christmas. We haven’t talked in years. What does she care about my potential?  All I hear is blah, blah, change. Blah, blah, self-help. Nope definitely not important. Door. Slam. In. Face.

I go to lay back down. I can still hear her. There’s this soft, constant pounding on the wall by the front door. I have no clue how long I left her out these 5, 10, 15 minutes, more? It seems like a long time. I finally get annoyed enough to go see what she’s doing.

I open the door. I see her. She’s sitting on the ground. Back against the wall. Knees pulled up to her chest. Head down. Face hidden in her hands. “What the fuck are you doing? Leave.” She looks up at me. Her face, her hands, her knees. Completely soaked.

My heart sinks. I let her come inside and tell me about this P.S.I. Basic and how it has helped her.

I didn’t care but I did play along. I went to this P.S.I. for about 2 hours. It would be 3 attempts and 7 years before I complete this 3-day seminar. And it helped.

This event with my sister 10 years ago is one of the most singularly important events in my life. In its own right, it is more important and had more influence on me, for the better, than even the births of my 2 children.

In this one event, I saw unrestricted passion, unwavering determination, unconditional love, and so much more.

This is the event that started the journey I’m on.

I’ve said and done some messed up shit to my sister. She always forgives and loves me unconditionally.

I thought she didn’t give a shit about me. Was never there for me. I look back on my life and know that, even though there were periods of silence between us, she has always been there for me.

When I acknowledge that she has always been there and decided to build a relationship with her, she was waiting with open arms.

Thinking positively about life isn’t about having some distorted view thinking everything is all peaches and cream. Everyone on this planet has issues. It’s how we think about these problems that matters.

When I was on my way to prison for the 2^nd time in 2015, I didn’t have some dilution that I would be fine financially. Money was still an issue.

Negative thoughts are just as powerful as positive ones. I believe in the universal laws of attraction. But I’m not going to get into that right now. I want to focus on how our thoughts determine our actions.

I could have earlier stayed with what I consider negative thoughts about how to make money doing shady shit in prison. Like selling drugs. I could have still made money, I also could have gotten caught with those drugs and got more time. I probably would have used the drugs, ended up not having the money to pay for them. Gotten my ass kicked. Negative thoughts produce negative actions that cause negative consequences.

By thinking positively, I was willing to do things that were legit to get money. I acted with pride, confidence, and responsibility. My bunker saw these attributes and the Law of Attraction came into play, big time. Even if I wasn’t “in the right place at the right time,” (this is how most people see the Law of Attraction, not me). My confidence and responsibility still would have shown. I would have started making money on my own. And, I did.

I was also sewing that time down. Bringing in $30-$50 more a month. Even though I had never made a long sleeve shirt before, I was confident in my ability to be able to figure it out. I took a risk. I made a sewing needle. Cut up 2 of my 3 shirts. Got to work.

I showed people my work, I had 2 people wanting a long sleeve within 5 minutes. By the time I was done with the 3^rd shirt, I had people coming to me for all types of tailoring, shirts, jackets, pants, shorts, pillows.

Because of my desire to make money in a positive way and my willingness to work for it, I literally had more work than I could handle. My risk for getting in trouble wasn’t crazy, I might have gotten a ticket for the needle but that’s nothing compared to more time if I got caught with drugs.

Like I said, thinking positively isn’t believing everything is hunky-dory. It’s acknowledging our problems with positive thoughts, a quick example of this would be changing, “I can’t get out of debt” to “I want to be financially free.” It is the same concepts dealing with the same issue. One is negative, one is positive.

The word “can’t” is pure negativity. It promotes frustration and discouragement. The word “debt,” although there is such a thing as good debt, is generally associated negatively. Being frustrated and discouraged about debt will get you nowhere. Maybe deeper in debt and more frustrated.

The word “want” promotes a desire and willingness to obtain. “Free” is pure positivity. Having a desire and willingness to obtain financial freedom you will start acting on that thought. Being more responsible with the money you have, looking for ways to make more. I know, this is what worked for me. It all started with changing how I thought.

In prison, we have 2 different types of stores. The state runs one store, we can only get stuff from here once a week. We have to fill out an order form the week before we pick it up.

The second is one that is run by an inmate. There are many of these stores on every unit. These stores are open every day as long as they have staff. They work off a credit system with 30-50% interest.

I’ve never respected money. I’ll tell you about how this perspective came about later. Right now, I want to show you the concept from where I have always been to where I am now, regarding money.

I was stuck in debt with these stores. Usually over stupid shit like sodas and cupcakes. I’d get irritated with myself every week when I’d have to give them $15 for the $10 I got from them. The more irritated I got, the more I’d say screw it and go get another soda and cupcake.

I got my money under control with 2 positive thoughts. 1: I wanted to respect my family and the money they sent me. 2: I wanted to eat what I wanted to eat. Not whatever was available from the store.

I’ve gone from owing $10 plus every week, with very little to call my own. To having a stockpile and money to spare. My money didn’t increase to get out of debt. I started being responsible with it.

My family sends me money once a month. With that money I buy everything, I need for the next month. Any extra money my family sends me as I get paid for working is extra. I can do what I want with this, save, splurge, invest.

I think most people, at least in developed societies, earn enough money to be financially free. It is the negative thinking that keeps them in debt.

Without any increase in money, I’ve gone from asking someone for a shot of coffee for $60 of debt to drinking 2-3 cups of my own coffee a day. I have enough to last me another 3 weeks at that rate. I’ve gone from asking for a scoop of peanut butter for my bread to having chips, cookies, oatmeal, peanut butter, trail mix, protein shakes..I won’t run out of that stuff for at least 2 more weeks. I still have money on my account to refill anything I get close to running out of.

Stuck in debt begging to more than enough. Just by changing my thoughts to be positive. Of course, my actions changed also. They automatically changed to be in line with my thoughts.

Give this concept a try, set aside some time today. It doesn’t matter if it’s 10 minutes or an hour. Think about the things in life you would like to change. Finances, schooling, fitness, relationships, video games. It doesn’t matter what it is. If you would like it to change for the better, try this.

Think about where you’d like to be (end goal) in a positive way, and your (attitude) in a positive way. I want (attitude) to be financially free (end goal). I will (attitude) be more understanding with my kids (end goal). I can (attitude) be better at Madden 2017 (end goal).

When you have a positive attitude about a positive end goal, you will find that you’re motivated to achieve this. Your actions will fall in line with your thoughts. You will start doing what’s needed to achieve your end goal.

Your day is already filled thinking about your issues. Acknowledge how you think about them without judging. If necessary, spin that thought into a positive one. This is where it all starts. With a thought.

Can you think positively for a few minutes today, about your issues? Between getting ready in the morning, eating, driving, the hours spent in front of the TV or phone? There’s plenty of time to think!

One perspective that really screws with people is failure.

The idea of failure comes from choosing to believe someone else’s opinion of your situation.

You can’t fail at being yourself! You can only produce results!

I made some no bake brownies the other day. Chocolate chip cookies, peanut butter, maple and brown sugar oatmeal, snickers and peanut M&Ms. Sounds pretty good right? Nope. They actually kind of sucked. To much salt and peanut butter. Some people would see my brownie as a waste of money, a failure. Not me. They were a lesson. I learned to use less peanut and more chocolate. If the next ones aren’t awesome, I’ll use more sugar.

Edison went through hundreds of lessons to learn what not to do to make a light bulb. I used to look at my relationships as failures. Now I learn from them. It’s important to grasp this concept fully. It’s destructive to view yourself as a failure. It can become a cycle that continues to grow and destroy, like a tornado or hurricane.

I would intentionally do things to prove to myself I wasn’t a failure. But, life never goes as planned. When what I was doing didn’t turn out the way I wanted, I considered myself a failure. I had to try something larger to compensate for the last screw up. When that didn’t work I was a larger failure. They cycle continued building in size and the damage got more serious.

This destructive thought of failure eventually led me feeling extremely hopeless. I gave up on everyone and everything except the drugs that numbed the pain. Homeless, neglecting my kids, worrying my mom, stealing (even from people close to me), not caring about the consequences.

My tornado of failure started to do some heavy damage when I found out I was going to be a dad. I never had a chance. I was a failure from the gate. I had a piss poor job that wasn’t worth the gate to get to. An opiate habit that was getting out of control. The more I felt like a failure, the more I used. The more I used, the higher the failure I became.

The damage came in many forms. One of the biggest for me was losing my ex. Using opiates, I was oblivious to reality. I know she wasn’t happy with me. I had no clue she had given up on us long before. I never saw it coming when she broke up with me. I said fuck life and gave up.

I don’t try to fail anymore. I stopped judging myself. I no longer view on the outcome with a warped perspective. I view it exactly for what it is. A result to learn from. I try, and I learn, what does and does not work. By learning I build confidence and self-esteem. I start living up to my potential.